7/31/09

This is the exact opposite of how i feel.



I havent had a good day since i graduated high-school it seems like and every day is monotonous and depressing. My best friend moved, i can't find a job, i dont have a car, i dont skate with anyone anymore cause people have there own lives and friends, i have no money and i have to give up a 10,000 dollar grant cause my dad and step mom dont want to help me out in school.

I have alot of bad luck it seems like and every day gets worst.
Yet i have more faith in God and i honestly dont know why.

God is supposed to help and give you guidance in tough times and i haven't been in touch with him since i was 18, yet i get on my roof every night and i know theres more to life than this just by looking at stars.

Sounds dumb but thats how i feel, im just super bummed out right now.

Eh, i would hope things get better but only time will tell.

Hopefully god comes back into my life because its been a while and i feel sad when i think of a life of with out God.

I don't understand my bad luck either.
I've never done drugs, i didnt drink till i was almost 20 and i don't really do it to get drunk,i don't womanize, i havent lost my virginity,i dont steal,i treat people with respect and kindness and i do every thing possible to be a good person and the only thing i want in life is to go to school and its amazing that kids now a-days want to drop out and do nothing.

All those dumb commercials with parents sending there kids to college, thats what i want!!!!
but my family is messed up in the head and its becoming less and less a possibility.

Hopefully it will change.

Until then, i gotta find a job somehow, keep writing,and try and be happy even though i haven't for a very long time.

I guess we'll see.

watch Josiah Gatlyn's part on THE BERRICS if you can.

It'll explode your brain.

Also "Funny People" was really funny and sad.
Adam Sandler play's a really good dying jerk and i actually felt bad most of the movie for Jonah Hill's character.

Its by far the most serious movie that Jonah has been apart of or most of the cast for that matter and i recommend it to everyone.

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